You are reading a single comment by @user16171 and its replies.
Click here to read the full conversation.
London Fixed Gear and Single-Speed is a community of predominantly fixed gear and single-speed cyclists in and around London, UK.
This site is supported almost exclusively by donations. Please consider donating a small amount regularly.
@user16171
Once again, an alcoholic stumbles home to his wife. Pissed as a fart he is.
This is once too many and his wife gives him an ultimatum.
"If you come home pissed again this month" she says, "I'm going to leave you"
So our drinker goes about his life, stays sober for a few days but as you would imagine he soon ends up back in the pub 'just for a quick one;.
A quick one turns to 3, which turns to 6, which turns to 8 which leads to whiskey and before you know it our drinker is slumped at the bar with sick all down his front.
In a moment of clarity he realises the gravity of the situation and quickly sobers up.
The barman, having seen this situation before steps in.
"here we go", says the barman slipping a twenty in our drinkers top pocket, "Get your self home.Tell the wife that some lad on the tube puked on your shirt, and show her this twenty that he gave you to get it dry cleaned"
Genius, he thinks.
So he wanders home, and into the arms of a suspicious wife.
"it's ok, I can explain..." and he goes on to spin the yarn of the poorly man on the tube puking on him, and offering up a score by way of apology and to cover the cost of dry cleaning.
"Look, in my top pocket there...a twenty" he exclaims.
His wife wanders over to the sick stained shirt laying on the bathroom floor and pulls out a couple of notes.
"but there's £40 here" she says.
"Oh yeah. He shit in my pants an all"