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@Rowhan
The whole thing of comparing my previous riding AND other people's current riding to what I'm currently doing is essential to spurring me on though!
Getting back to my previous form is a target my life will likely depend on this year, and at least attempting to match a few people I know on roughly the same distance and/or speed over that distance - it's one of the few things I have at the moment that might give me some vague sense of being back to normal. I don't really expect anyone to get exactly what I mean, but basically I can't just accept a 40 mile ride in the sun as being a good lark, and "well wasn't that a nice day out" etc. If I realize I could have done another 10 miles on the end of a ride after the fact, I'm going to feel shit about it.
I have to push myself and push myself, and say fuck you to the weather, fuck you to the pain, fuck you to being delirious from exhaustion all the time, and use the very finite and indeterminable amount of time there may/may not be before I potentially get ill again like last year, to get myself as strong as possible for a potential 2nd round of what nearly killed me last year.
It's sucking most of the enjoyment out of riding, but I have to plough on. If I had my mojo I would have done 70 miles yesterday, not 40, and I'm pissed off about it.